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“Teaching Sons to Respect Women”


A Woman to Love

Read this to your son:
“In medieval times, the knight was taught to treat women with the utmost respect and honor. When Percival left home in the story of King Arthur, his mother said, “You will soon be a knight, my son . . . If you encounter, near or far, a lady in need of help, or any damsel in distress, be ready to aid her if she asks you to, for all honor lies in such deeds.  When a man fails to honor ladies, his own honor must be dead.”

Tell your son that real men love, lead, honor, protect, and care for women. One of a man’s main responsibilities is to care for the woman he loves.

Side-note: After a Men’s Fraternity meeting, two men approached Robert Lewis, author of “Raising a Modern-Day Knight” and told him they had never been told it was their responsibility to care for women and provide for them.

Invite your son to brainstorm with you and describe the character of God as best he can. Write down the things he shares.

Read scriptures of your choice to help him get a better picture of the true character of God. Here are some ideas:
God is trustworthy (Numbers 23:19; Hebrews 6:18)

God is supremely powerful. (Isaiah 40:25-26, Chronicles 20:6, Jeremiah 32:17)

God is not evil and does not cause evil. (Job 34:10; 1 John 1:5)

God is holy. (1 Peter 1:15-16)

God is love. (1 John 4:8, 10; Romans 5:8)

God is compassionate. (Psalm 145:89, Psalm 86:15)

God is merciful (Luke 6:36, Ephesians 2:4-5)

God is good. (Psalm 86:5, Psalm 100:5)

God is righteous and just. (Psalm 11:7, Deuteronomy 32:4)

God is faithful. (Psalm 145:13, 2 Timothy 2:13)

Read Genesis 1:27

Ask your son: “Who is made in the image of God?” (Men and women)

Read James 3:9-10
When we talk badly about people who are made in the image of God, is it kind of like you’re speaking badly of God in whose image they are made?

Read 1 Peter 2:17.
Ask your son: “Who are we to show respect to?” (Everyone)

Read Ephesians 6:1-3.
Ask your son: Who are we meant to respect? (Parents)

Read Ephesians 5:25-30.
Some possible discussion questions related to this passage:

How did Christ love the church? (He gave himself up for her. There was a cost – a sacrifice.)

 What was his purpose? What does it mean that he worked to present her to himself in all her glory, without spot or wrinkle, so that she would be holy and blameless. How does that translate to husbands and wives? How can a man help a woman be holy and blameless? How can he align himself with Christ’s sanctification process in their wives?

What does it look like to love a wife “as their own bodies?”

Talk about what it means to “nourish” and “cherish.” Look up the definitions of each word and discuss.

Outline their role and responsibility in regard to young women now – and women they may date in the future. How are they to treat them as women made in the image of God? (If your son is older, you might want to look at  verses on abstaining from sexual immorality.)

Lastly, share with your son how Jesus treated women:

Women in Bible times were treated much like outcasts and undesirables:
In Rabbinic Judaism, many rules and laws were established regarding women (recorded in the Talmud).
“Talk not much to womankind”
1) “We have not found the Almighty spoke to a woman except Sarah.”

2) Talking to a woman was perceived as a serious threat to a man’s spirituality.

3) It was shameful for men to speak to a woman in public.

Women were regarded as inferior to men.

They were regarded as property like cattle and slaves rather than as

Talmud states, “The man makes demands on the woman, whereas the
woman does not make demands on the man.”

Women were to have their own rooms, and as much as possible, stay in

The value of a woman was based on her ability to bear children to her

They were not allowed to receive an education.

Women were Largely excluded from worshiping God in the temple. They were  in a separate area – a women’s court.

They had no voice in their marriage. Their father decided who, when, and why they were to marry.

Women had No inheritance rights. Property went to sons.

She could not divorce her husband under any condition.

Only a man could initiate divorce.

A man’s prayer of thanksgiving included this line:
“Praise be to God. He has not created me a woman.”

When Jesus came, he turned his culture on its head :
 Jesus saw the significance of women, and it was reflected in the way he
treated them.
Many of his interactions with them were in direct opposition to the rules
established by the Pharisees.

He saw them as valuable persons and condemned those who treated them
He used women favorably in his parables – even making them heroes in his
He used women as examples of true righteousness

1) See the story of the widow’s mite in the book of Luke
A woman was chosen to give Jesus passage into the world.

He had female disciples who followed him, learned from him, cared for his
needs and supported him financially. (This was scandalous at that time.)
When he rose from dead, he appeared to a woman first.

He instructed a woman to announce his resurrection.

 He talked with women in public – even divorcees, immoral women, Samaritans, Gentiles, sick, and ceremonially unclean women. He even allowed them to touch him. (This was unheard of for a Rabbi.)
Samaritan woman at the well was his first evangelist

Jesus took time to listen to the bleeding woman’s story and commended
her for her faith.
He defended and rescued a prostitute who was about to be stoned to death.

He listened to the requests of a Gentile woman even though she was considered a dog in the eyes of Israel. He commended her for her faith and healed her daughter.
He had a friendship with Mary and Martha

He allowed women to follow him and learn from him. (i.e., Mary at Jesus’ feet.)

Most of his interactions were with women in crisis who were outcasts/undesirables.